Meet Egon Schmuck – Hobby Detective

hipster 1
Egon pondering the meanness of life

This is the first episode of DALSTON NOIR, a weekly Noir-Hipster-Crime-Serial set in London Fields. To be continued. *

Meet Egon Schmuck, 37, Hobby-Detective and antihero, filled at times with existential angst (due to reading too many Kafka books when he was in a mentally vulnerable state) but mostly calm, currently unemployed. Thank God for the United Kingdom welfare state because with some housing benefit and the odd cash-in-hand jobs he survives and not badly. 
Looking smart in a street-wise way, his clothes are tailor made at Oxfam and he seldom walks away from the shop without a bargain in a precious green plastic bag which he likes to carry around as symbol of his hipster status. 
Egon doesn’t like to divulge the fact that he is unemployed and therefore tells everyone who wants to know (not many people do) that he is on a Zero-Hour-Contract. He calls himself a London native (though he was born in a little village in Shropshire), his roaming ground is London Fields, not Hipster Dalston as he likes to point out, a great place to watch the human condition pass by, filling him with existential thoughts as he sips his coffee on Broadway Market.

Episode #1: Trouble on Kingsland Road

Egon had just checked his bank account and wondered whether he could make it till the end of the month when his housing benefit would come in. Lost in anxious thoughts he walked down Balls Pond Road when his attention was drawn to a crowd of people. His anxiety dispersed in seconds as he realised that today was his lucky day as he had just happened upon a crime scene and elbowed his way into the crowd of ogling by-standers. Continue reading

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