IKEA – goddess of the flat-pack

~ Dagmar Baumunk

TO IKEA OR NOT TO IKEA that never was the question for Jason Lennick

Halfbananas - humour, short fiction & verse

Ikea manThe IKEA catalogue is now more popular than the Bible and it’s not difficult to understand why. Within its pages you can find a wealth of strangely named, tasteful and affordable items for every home or office. The IKEA catalogue that is, not the Bible. It’s also a lot easier to read and doesn’t contain any rules regarding the non-coveting of asses.

For centuries mankind struggled without the wisdom and guidance of sensible Swedish furniture designers. Mighty civilisations have fought numerous blood-soaked holy wars, oblivious to the many stylish décor opportunities we now take for granted. Today, thanks to easy assembly bookcases and cheap sofas, we have the opportunity to finally unite as one race in peace and comfort. Say goodbye to nasty inquisitions and hello to the comfy chairs and soft cushions.

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8 thoughts on “IKEA – goddess of the flat-pack”

  3. To me, IKEA is more of a religion than a local furniture store turned conglomerate. And the ecstasy of correctly assembling disparate pieces of quality chipboard and ending up with some sort of usable object rivals the mystery inherent in most religions. And rather than bogging down with holy scriptures and the like, the faithful are issued a one page map explaining everything but how to assemble the piece in question. Still, I love IKEA. I’m lighting some candles right now.

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    1. Lighting some candles myself. Some people might think it sad but I harbour a very strong romantic fantasy which is going shopping at IKEA with my future husband (whoever it might be, IKEA employees not excluded).

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      1. This is completely normal and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. IKEA fantasies are common in the developed world. Here’s hoping your dreams will come true. (Just in case I’ll keep the candles burning.)

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